...Further Notes

1. I thought my mug of happiness was overflowing until I sighted you. When it became clear you could do pretty well without me, a gap formed and now simply persists. I can't say I am unhappy-hardly! Bless the angel that guides my life. But during the moments when I am sitting with my friends sipping coffee under the lilting influence of the cool breeze and the afternoon sun, the possibilities of your joy flashes by and it is back to feeling all alone.

2. I duely added you to my messengers and cellphone; I noted down your landline and beyond that I engineered oh-so-many face-to-face's, and even fixed my route to give myself a chance to knock your door. All set and done, now I am feeling like a bungee jumper at the edge of a cliff. It was the same ten years before. Then, I gave myself the excuse that things are bound to be messy and palpitated the first time around. But, ah, we never grow up perhaps. Many emotions
conflict at the cliff-edge. They needn't but ain't it boring if all the worthy heroes are lined up like propah school kids on the same side! The urge to spend time with you rages like waves-against the fragile sense of my self-respect and decency that says, never in your self-centred pathos are you to become a nuisance to an unerring soul.